


Chupacabra Hunting in Texas

by Brumeier



Series: Unexpected Discoveries 'Verse [9]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe, Community: ushobwri, Gen, Monster Hunters, Reality TV, Rodney is not amused
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-22
Updated: 2015-10-22
Packaged: 2018-04-27 13:16:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5050039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brumeier/pseuds/Brumeier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Reports of attacks by an unknown creature sprang up in the early 1990s, in Puerto Rico, South America, and the Southwestern United States. It was dubbed the chupacabra – ‘goat sucker’ – because it drained the blood from its victims: goats, cattle, chickens. Some say this is the work of coyotes suffering from debilitating cases of mange, but there are still reports coming in that contradict the sick coyote theory. The MU team is in Texas to see if we can separate truth from folklore, without losing any red blood cells in the process.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chupacabra Hunting in Texas

**Author's Note:**

> This is for [Monster Fest 2015 at the You Should Be Writing](http://ushobwri.livejournal.com/83718.html) comm on LJ, covering Folklore day.

_Reports of attacks by an unknown creature sprang up in the early 1990s, in Puerto Rico, South America, and the Southwestern United States. It was dubbed the chupacabra – ‘goat sucker’ – because it drained the blood from its victims: goats, cattle, chickens. Some say this is the work of coyotes suffering from debilitating cases of mange, but there are still reports coming in that contradict the sick coyote theory. The MU team is in Texas to see if we can separate truth from folklore, without losing any red blood cells in the process._

“Where did you find this guy? An _X-Files_ convention?”

Rodney wasn’t impressed with the new camera man. He was a young guy named Tran, and he was entirely too eager. Most people that joined the MU team were adventurous, yes, but they weren’t die-hard believers in the subjects of the show’s investigations. There were inexplicable things out there, Rodney had witnessed some of them first hand. But the new guy had the shining light of feverish belief in his eyes, which Rodney had seen before in so-called Bigfoot experts, or people who insisted they’d had a close encounter with the ass fetish aliens.

Tran wanted to believe, and in the team’s line of work that could be a dangerous thing.

“He has enthusiasm,” Teyla said. “We could do with a bit more of that, I think.”

“Come on, Rodney.” Laura nudged him with her elbow. “He’s a cutie pie. Our viewers will love him.”

“I’d just like to go on the record –”

Kyle held up his hand. “Yes, Rodney. It’s noted. You don’t approve. Color me surprised. Tran is good with the camera, he’s used to hiking and camping, and he’s happy to be here. Those are the most important things.”

Rodney just snorted and shook his head. Kyle and Teyla couldn’t see past the ratings sometimes. Tran was a young, fresh face and his no-doubt boundless energy would make for good TV. But Rodney knew trouble when he saw it.

“I’ll start packing up the equipment,” he grumbled.

He hoped he didn’t have to sit next to Tran on the plane.

*o*o*o*

Texas was hot. The temperature was in the mid-nineties, and it was dry and dusty and altogether uncomfortable. Rodney felt like he could easily mummify if they spent too much longer in the scrubby terrain west of Crane. It was a wonder that anyone could make a living out of cattle ranching – or would want to, honestly – but their eyewitness was that person. And had the dead steer with the puncture wounds to prove it.

“Do you see them? Right here on the neck.” Kyle pointed and Tran filmed, a look of wide-eyed wonder on his face. “With Mr. Ortega’s permission, we’ve contacted a local large animal vet to perform a necropsy on this steer, to determine if the animal has in fact been drained of blood. In the meantime, the team will set out in search of the likely suspect: the chupacabra.”

“Yes. Wonderful. Let’s get away from the disgusting dead animal, shall we?” The hot sun hadn’t done any favors for the steer, bloating it with foul-smelling gas. It was enough to make Rodney hope that when he died, it was in winter. At the North Pole. He’d much rather be preserved in ice.

Kyle had a few more words with the rancher, and then the team loaded up into the Jeeps that Teyla had rented for them. Rodney watched the terrain with an eye for the upcoming investigation, and he wasn’t impressed with what he saw.

“It’s so flat out here,” he said to Evan, who was sharing the backseat with him. “No mountains, no caves. Not even a single tree. Doesn’t look very promising.”

Evan shrugged. “Something killed that steer. We just have to figure out where it came from.”

“Guys, we’re totally gonna find it!” Tran twisted in the front seat, a big grin on his face. “Did you see those puncture wounds? Totally real.”

Rodney rolled his eyes. “Let’s not count our chupacabras until they’re hatched.”

“What?”

“Never mind.” Rodney shared a look with Evan. “This one’s a real brainiac.”

“Give him a chance, McKay,” Evan whispered. “Just like you did for me.”

Tran was no Evan, Rodney was certain of that, but he kept that to himself. There was no sense getting everyone mad at him.

“This is gonna be great!” Tran enthused. “Seriously, you guys.”

*o*o*o*

_Rodney, do you have a location on Tran?_

“Give me a second!” Rodney shouted back. Tran’s shouts were turning into desperate screams, and it was hard to concentrate with all the noise. “Okay, I’ve got him! Shit.”

_What’s wrong?_

“He got pretty far from you guys.”

_Who’s closest?_

“Me.” Rodney was already grabbing the Maglite. “I’m on my way. Ronon?”

_I have the med kit. We’re right behind you._

“You’d better be,” Rodney muttered.

Tran, as expected, had gone off the rails in his enthusiasm to track down the chupacabra. He’d slipped off alone, on the trail of what he believed to be the creature, and only responded to hails on the radio when whatever he’d been tracking turned on him. His video feed was useless, showing mostly his own running feet.

Rodney was going to told-you-so Kyle so hard when this was all over. He couldn’t hire wide-eyed kids who were ready to believe in everything and anything. They were dangerous, to themselves and the team. And Rodney wasn’t thrilled to be wandering around in the dark looking for Tran and whatever might possibly be eating him.

Being angry was better than being scared.

_Gaah! Get it off! Get it off me!_

Rodney’s heart was racing. He was close enough to hear Tran on the radio and off, like an echo. It didn’t sound good either way. His grip tightened on the Maglite, which he could use as a club if necessary. He’d ordered a Taser, but it hadn’t come yet; he’d feel a whole lot better having that in his hand.

“Tran! Where are you?”

“I’m here!” The kid’s voice was high and tight. “It bit me!”

When Rodney found him, Tran was lying on the ground. His left leg was bloody, his cargo shorts torn. The flashlight washed his face out, and made him look even more ashen than he probably was. There was no sign of an animal anywhere, but Rodney did a slow sweep just to be sure.

“It was the chupacabra! Just like the rancher said!” Tran was getting a bit hysterical.

“It’s okay. Whatever it was, it’s gone.” Which didn’t stop Rodney from jumping at every sound. He dropped down to his knees to get a closer look at Tran’s leg. There was a very clear bit mark on the meaty part of his thigh, and some jagged claw marks too, but it didn’t look like any major arteries got severed.

_Rodney? Do you have him?_

“He’s okay. Something gnawed on his leg pretty good, though. He might need stitches.”

_Any sign of the chupacabra?_

“No.” Rodney scanned the area around Tran. “Where’s the camera? Did you film whatever attacked you?”

“I lost it,” Tran said, his voice thin with pain.

“You lost it. The camera. _My_ camera.” Rodney could feel his blood pressure rising, but before he could fully expound on all the reasons Tran was an idiot for dropping such an expensive piece of equipment, something touched his shoulder and he screamed. Just a little. In a very manly way.

“Relax, McKay.” Ronon dropped down beside him, medic bag in hand. “Let’s get a look at that leg.” 

Rodney left Tran in Ronon’s capable hands and went looking for the camera. MU had a generous budget, but that didn’t mean they could just toss aside the pricey equipment whenever they got scared. He was still grumbling about amateurs when Laura caught up with him.

“Evan found the camera, so you can stand down.”

“It better not be broken.”

“So…no sparks for you and Tran?”

Rodney stared at her. “I’m sorry, what? Tran? And me? You must be high.”

Laura tucked her arm through Rodney’s and walked him back to base camp. “I just think it would be nice if you found someone, that’s all.”

“That someone isn’t Tran.”

“So tell me who you’re looking for and I’ll help find them.”

Rodney didn’t know how to answer that. He wasn’t some teenager, with a wish list of attributes for the perfect partner. That was a formula for failure, pure and simple.

“Rodney?”

“I’m not looking for anyone, and especially not someone I work with. I’ve both been there and done that, and it never works out.” Which was an understatement. Katie had requested a transfer to the facility in Duluth, of all places, just to get away from him. That wasn’t something easily forgotten. “Why don’t you worry about your own love life?”

“Because it’s more fun worrying about yours.”

“I’m sure we can find a better use for your time.”

_Kyle for Rodney._

“Go for Rodney.”

_We’ve got Tran patched up and ready for transport to the hospital. We’ll meet you at base camp._

“Laura and I are already here. We’ll start packing up.”

They worked silently, taking down trap cameras and the sensor alarm, but Rodney couldn’t stop thinking. What was he looking for? Someone smart, that was absolutely imperative. Beyond that…Rodney supposed anyone who could put up with him would be a keeper. He knew he was high maintenance.

He figured he had a better chance of meeting a chupacabra.

**Author's Note:**

>  **AN:** This is a call-back to mentions made of a chupacabra incident in the original story, which they never did tell John when he asked.


End file.
